COLUMN: Broadway Joe Blowing Smoke
The LIRR has banned smoking on its open-air platforms. No open-containers tonight, either. Are party hats OK?
Smokin Joe
Plainview Patch Editor Joe Dowd lights up outside the Hicksville Long Island Rail Road station.
Photos (3)
Photos
If you're among the brave souls headed tonight for that rollicking alcohol-free, boxed-in and patted-down police state that was once home to a real New Year's Eve party, be advised: The Long Island Rail Road is watching out for your best interests.
That should really give you pause.
The latest MTA edict is that all open containers will be banned in their stations and platforms from noon on Saturday through sometime New Year's Day, presumably when the hangovers are in full swing.
This unenforceable measure of homeland insecurity comes on the heels of the MTA's Nov. 13 declaration when, without offering a reason, the LIRR banned smoking on its open-air platforms. The LIRR never needs a reason, does it? _Only excuses_.
They even enlisted Broadway Joe Namath, the very embodiment of self control and personal discipline, to announce the "public service" announcements trumpeting this latest health-conscious initiative, brought to you by the same people who can't get the trains to run in_a lousy snowstorm._
I looked it up: The LIRR station at Hicksville is 1,200 feet, or just under a quarter-mile long, and can accommodate 17 passenger cars on its platform. About half of that area at each end -- or the length of a football field -- is always empty of people and not even covered.
It's also elevated at least 30 feet in the air, and the wind can be fierce up there, so fierce, it's actually hard to light up a damned smoke on that platform from time to time.
Full disclosure: I smoke and shouldn't. I know that. It's expensive and terrible for my health, a bad example to children and I'm not endorsing it. I've tried to quit and haven't been able to. You should never start smoking.
That said, I used to love that smoke up there on the platform: Just delicious: A poor-man's luxury with a steaming coffee, waiting in the wind for my train, which is often late and always dirty and crowded and smells bad. Many times the toilets are plugged up. So I savor that cancer stick high atop Hicksville, awaiting my magic carpet ride to Penn Station, another smoke-free destination known for its pleasant "aroma."
Call it "Eau de homeless."
Now some of you surely are thinking: "Good. I hate the smell of cigarettes," or "This promotes good health; such a filthy habit," or "How could you, Mr. Dowd?" You're saying: "I quit years ago and have been miserable ever since so everyone should be miserable like me."
Fair enough: But besides being completely unenforceable, besides being incredibly insensitive to the needs of a significant minority, besides being arrogant and hypocritical, it is simply humorous coming from the LIRR.
Why not ban people who wear too much perfume, or the taxicabs idling in the street below the platform? Better yet, why not tax all of them: A smoking-after-shave-taxi-idling tax? The LIRR can just figure it into your overpriced ticket? Smoke on the platform; pay a fee. Simple.
Of course, they somehow forgot to ban diesel smoke belching from passing freight trains. The MTA missed that one. Must have been an oversight.
This latest "service enhancement" is brought to you by the same people who can't patrol their own parking lots sufficiently to prevent brutal robberies and routine car break-ins in their insufficient parking lots.
Hicksville is also notorious for its panhandlers, which the MTA cops can't seem to stop. In fact: I talk to the panhandlers. Generally, all they want -- you guessed it -- is a lousy smoke. If they're polite to me I pass them one. No big deal. The MTA should simply ban the panhandlers, too, and they'll just go away.
These imperious mandates come from a company that is accused of allowing huge segments of its employees to retire with a little extra going-away present in the form of falsified disability insurance. Their grand decrees also affect its expansive open-air and now allegedly-smoke-free Jamaica Station, the vital chokepoint where they still use equipment installed a century ago.
You can believe the LIRR is worried about our health and want us to quit and protect those who don't. Or consider this: Could the state's real motivation be that if more of us don't quit, a lucrative black market for those tasty coffin nails will emerge and the state won't get it's precious cigarette tax revenues?
You know, just like the thriving illicit drug trade. Or like prohibition in the '20s, where the government outlawed drinking. Two American success stories.
Put that in your pipe and smoke away because you might as well ban party hats and noise makers. Some things can't be stopped.
Again, I'm not advocating smoking; not one bit. But I bristle at the idea that people who answer to no one can demand I not smoke on an open-air platform our father's tax dollars built.
It's the MTA, a wholly-owned subsidiary of your government, blowing all that smoke, not me. I move to an open area away from people when I take a drag.
The government blows it right in your face.
What's your opinion of the smoking ban on open-air platforms?
Tell us in the comments.
Pam Robinson
2:33 pm on Saturday, December 31, 2011
Joe, though I detest smoking, you've won me over on this one. Especially the part about Times Square. And the other aromas, shall we say, around the platforms.
Fish Hunter
3:43 pm on Saturday, December 31, 2011
Love it Joe, happy new year!
Joe Dowd
4:32 pm on Saturday, December 31, 2011
On a day I choose to blast the LIRR in a column, an LIRR crew does a great job of saving a little girl from a death trap. The crew did a stellar job here; they were alert and on top of it. Praise is well deserved and unreserved. Happy New Year to all my friends.
Jason Molinet
7:48 pm on Saturday, December 31, 2011
I don't smoke, but I respect your right to. And the only thing that does choke me up are those LIRR engines.
Kristen Ferrari
8:26 pm on Saturday, December 31, 2011
I'm a reformed smoker. I quit because I could no longer afford to pay $11 a pack but God, do I miss it and still love the smell of it. I read this and think I may have fallen just a little bit in love.
Joe Dowd
10:31 am on Sunday, January 1, 2012
Kristen: thank you for the honesty and kind words. How did you quit? What method? I'm gonna try again this month.
Kristen Ferrari
10:49 am on Sunday, January 1, 2012
Joe, honestly, it was really hard. I smoked two packs a day and honestly loved it but they went up in price so much and I couldn't afford it. I went on the Patch for about two weeks. I didn't do all of the phases of it because once I was out of the withdrawal stage money was more of a factor than anything. Of course I gained a million pounds and the doctor told me he'd rather me fat than getting cancer. Of course besides missing my cigs, I'm missing my skinny jeans too. Life!
Vanessa Canner
11:23 am on Sunday, January 1, 2012
Great column Joe. I don't smoke and hate when that second-hand smoke is blown near my breathing vicinity, but you made some great points here. Bravo!
TheGreek
6:07 pm on Sunday, January 1, 2012
Great column, Joe. Keep up the fight for what's right.
leapinglaughter
6:25 pm on Sunday, January 1, 2012
E-cigarettes, folks. I quit real cigarettes by switching to those (worth a try for you who want to quit, by the way). I might just feel cantankerous enough to whip out my personal nicotine-vapor dispensing device and take a few good long drags up there one day. It'd be fun to see them try to make that charge stick.
Elena DiMarco
9:48 pm on Sunday, January 1, 2012
This column is clever, thought-provoking and genius. Thank you for this, Joe. I am telling all of my friends to read this -- smokers and non-smokers will enjoy it.
Phil Konigsberg
2:39 pm on Monday, January 2, 2012
To Joe and those who disagree with smokefree platforms on the LIRR: The relatively new addition to the smokefree law uniformly applies for all train platforms whether they are the size of Hicksville or one of the smaller stations. Those who continue to smoke but in their heart and mind want to finally stop I suggest you look into the website:
www.becomeanex.org
I have never been a smoker so I can't tell you from experience, although I have heard great things about it and it is free. Start off the new year by trying to quit. Good luck.
Adina Genn
5:06 pm on Monday, January 2, 2012
Great column...good luck with your quest to kick the habit...would be ironic if you succeeded using "the patch."
Merrick7
11:45 pm on Monday, January 2, 2012
I respect the smoker argument however, smoking is a horrific drug worse for you in many ways than illicit drugs like cocaine and marijuana, which actually have proven medical benefits in a controlled environment. Cigarettes are pure poison. Even a glass of wine is good for you. They have a addictive chemicals to keep going. I am sorry to say I do not feel bad for banning cigarettes in all public facilities what people often forget is we live in a democracy, a democratic republic to be more precise, majority rules here. The majority of Americans and especially new yorkers are very against smoking. I have many friends who smoke and while they complained about this enactment at first they actually complimented it saying it encourages them to smoke less. One friends says its good because they end having more cigarettes for later. Another friend actually said its helped him smoke less and cut back. Fact is it is obnoxious but a good measure.
TheGreek
5:20 pm on Tuesday, January 3, 2012
"The majority of Americans... are very against smoking."
I beg to differ. Once you leave New York, the vast majority of states have smoking sections in all their eating places and would laugh out loud at the idea of banning smoking anywhere under the open sky.
The question is "Which majority rules?"
Merrick7
11:50 pm on Wednesday, January 4, 2012
27 states and DC have bans on smoking so th majority do not allow it. Also the majority of americans around 60 percent for the first time ever are for bans on smoking in public places. So I am curious of your majority the facts are not with you
Tanii C.
9:12 am on Tuesday, January 3, 2012
my husband used NJoy one of those e-cigarettes and had great success. I recently bought one for my mom and dad hopefully it will work for them as well. good luck!
Helen
1:16 pm on Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Ahhh, I laughed at this new ban - and I really enjoyed the column. I am in total agreement with the let's tax those perfume swimmers, exhaust fume dwellers and such! I am well aware that smoking is no good for people, however; it's not illegal. What's off in the not too distant future? Illegalizing fattening foods? They tried the whole soda tax - and what happened there?
The LIRR should concern itself with a lot of other things, starting with what Joe mentioned - the putrid bathrooms on board - the parking lot crimes, etc. Clean up the house before you clean the yard!
Phil Konigsberg
12:38 am on Wednesday, January 4, 2012
To TheGreek: you need to check your sources regarding which states have smoking sections in restaurants. If you travel out of New York you will find 25 additional states as well as the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico that have existing 100% smokefree restaurant laws protecting the health and safety of the majority of this nation providing them the opportunity to breathe free of tobacco-toxic smoke. According to Americans For Nonsmokers Rights (ANR) here are the states with 100% smokefree laws on the books: NY, NH, ME, CT, RI, MA, NJ, DE, MD, OH, MI, MN, IA, SD, NE, KS, CO, NM, AZ, UT, MT, CA, OR, WA, HI, NC and PR.
In total 79.7% of the US population (a clear majority) is protected from secondhand smoke by law. It is just a question of time before the remaining states realize that their residents deserve the same protections and adopt smokefree policies as well.
TheGreek
11:12 am on Wednesday, January 4, 2012
79.7% are under a smoking ban. How many of them support that ban?
TheGreek
11:10 am on Wednesday, January 4, 2012
To Phil: Thanks for the info. 25 out of 50 states sounds like a tie, not a majority. How many states ban smoking outdoors?
Merrick7
11:43 pm on Wednesday, January 4, 2012
http://www.gallup.com/poll/109048/us-smoking-rate-still-coming-down.aspx
2008 gallup poll about smoking. Only 21 percent in the country smoke down from 45 percent. Its constantly declining and those that do smoke over 74 percent say they want to quit. Even smokers do not want to smoke. The rate has since declined.
Phil Konigsberg
2:34 am on Thursday, January 5, 2012
Well, I think Merrick7 amply responded to your questions about who supports smokefree policies. As for outdoor smokefree policies, I'll reference American For NonSmokers Rights (ANR) which indicate the following: 126 cities with smokefree beaches; 233 outdoor public transit waiting areas; 201 cities with 100% smokefree outdoor dining laws; 590 cities with smokefree parks; and, 53 cities with smokefree zoos. I don't see anyone laughing out loud about the idea of outdoor smokefree policies, especially as these venues are increasing on a weekly basis.
Merrick7
11:44 pm on Wednesday, January 4, 2012
http://www.gallup.com/poll/148514/first-time-majority-supports-public-smoking-ban.aspx
2011 Gallup poll the first ever the majority of Americans support a National smoking ban in all public places
TheGreek
4:57 pm on Friday, January 6, 2012
Merrick7 - Thanks for the link. Gallup is a reliable source.
I will concede that this survey clearly shows that a majority of Americans now support a public smoking ban. Please allow me to point out that this survey also says that the first time a majority responded in favor of a public smoking ban happened only 6 months ago. So my information (or perception) was not that stale. Mea culpa on that point.
I do have a problem with using this survey to support the argument in this thread, in that in my opinion, a public smoking ban does not equate to an outdoor smoking ban, and this write up of the survey does not use the word outdoor even once.
Thanks for a well reasoned and supported argument.
Merrick7
11:44 pm on Wednesday, January 4, 2012
According to the American Lung Association, 27 states plus the District of Columbia have passed comprehensive smoke-free laws. A New York City law bans smoking in virtually all public places, including outdoor plazas and beaches.
Merrick7
11:46 pm on Wednesday, January 4, 2012
When asked in 2010 about smoking in certain private places the majority supported a full out ban in all restaurants instead of smoking sections there is some factual polls for you
Merrick7
11:48 pm on Wednesday, January 4, 2012
http://yourlife.usatoday.com/health/story/2011-09-07/Study-One-in-four-look-down-on-smokers/50304122/1
USA TODAY 1 in four say they think less of a person who smokes
Helen
9:33 pm on Thursday, January 5, 2012
Ouch - please tell me we're not getting petty over this! The freedom to debate and blog is all of ours, but let's not get into something like this - that's a prejudicial feeling. Smoking is still a right someone has - the freedom to smoke or not to smoke. As I stated earlier - they tried the soda tax and everyone's arms flew up in the air protesting. Fattening fried foods are legal - and yet the combination of the two can horrific medical consequences - you've all seen the commercials and you all know the facts. Yet, people frequent the fast foods and the soda cans and that's their choice - should I think less of them too???
Merrick7
1:32 pm on Friday, January 6, 2012
No no Helen!! I do not think less of smokers. The Greek wanted statistical proof and evidence of public opinion and did not really seem to believe commentary to the contrary. I just wanted to show there is proof and that I was not just commenting out of nowhere. I apologize if I sounded petty. Also let's not get outside the realm of normal and comparing smoking with drinking a soda and eating a big mac. That is really pushing it.
Helen
2:49 pm on Saturday, January 7, 2012
The realm of normal? Not really. Long term use of anything not good for ones body is going to result in health risks and illnesses. Obesity is an epidemic in this country - and that leads to all sorts of medical issues. Now, how do you think someone becomes obese? Long term alcohol use causes problems......etc.
I'm not standing on any soap box - but I wanted to point out that there are similarities - and consequences to both. I'm not pushing anything....but my right to free speech. I can't stand when any one group, within their legal rights, is picked on.
Merrick7
1:29 am on Monday, January 9, 2012
of course long term use of anything is bad for you and I agree obesity is HUGE issue! But I am saying comparing cigarettes to eating fast food is not the same. One cigarette is enough to hurt you and kill you. Some fast food has nutritional value, some alcohol liek red wine is good for your heart, cigarettes have no nutritional value even if used in small amounts carefully.
I was not shutting up his right to speak, which I addressed in my last comment. He claimed i was wrong and did not have proof so i gave him factual information form respectable polls. You are the one claiming picking and bickering. I wanted to let you know I was not fighting i was having a healthy discussion and sorry if you felt otherwise. But no free speech was trampled on here and in fact he responded back respectfully as you can see. Have a good day!
Helen
8:39 pm on Monday, January 9, 2012
Merrick7 so sorry you've gotten so worked up - and thank you, I did have a good day, a day free of fighting and bickering. The opinion above is mine and in this lovely free society I can say my piece. Now, also, as I am sure you have noticed along the way, sometimes the written word can be "heard" in a manner in which it was not intended. That being said, I look forward to other healthy discussions with everyone on Patch.