Why I Still Wear Yellow

About four weeks ago my Livestrong bracelet broke. "No problem," I thought to myself, "I'll just go and get another one out of my drawer." You see, every since my sister Angela was diagnosed with cancer in 2005 I've worn one of these bracelets to support her in her fight against cancer. When my mother and two other sisters also contracted other cancers within the next two years I vowed I would never stop wearing one until this horrible disease was beaten.

That was the year Connor's Army was born and I vowed that I would do something to help not only my family but others in their own fights against cancer to show my gratitude for my own family's successful struggles with the disease. I would always manage to buy a few at a time thinking if one broke I could then instantly replace it. The disease has not yet been eradicated (like it's predecessor polio) so I'm still wearing my bracelet. As a matter of fact, when we decided to begin our very first Connor's Army fundraiser I chose yellow as the color of our jerseys because it would match the bracelet!

I know, sounds stupid right? I mean, I have always liked yellow, even though it's not the artsiest of colors and can make you look jaundiced if you don't have just the right skin tone. Nevertheless, I have always liked it even though as a theatre person my wardrobe tends to runs to various shades of black. To me yellow is a happy color, a color of rebirth and sunlight, a color of hope. If you go to Color Wheel Pro and look up their interpretations of color, they state that yellow is; Yellow is the color of sunshine. It's associated with joy, happiness, intellect, and energy. Yellow produces a warming effect, arouses cheerfulness, stimulates mental activity, and generates muscle energy.

"What," you may be asking yourself, "is your point and what has precipitated this color rant/meandering mental migration?" Well, you see it all started about two weeks ago when I realized that the replacement bracelet I had put on to replace the Livestrong bracelet that had broken two weeks previously was not an adult-sized bracelt. It was a child's, one that I had bought for the kids to wear if they decided they wanted to wear one like daddy. Unfortunately, my children tend to run on the small size (genetics, go figure) so the youth bracelets don't fit them. Soooo, I put them in the drawer with the other bracelets for safe keeping thinking they would be there if the kids ever wanted them. Of course, completely forgetting that fact, when I broke my latest one I just reached in and put it on. I figured that since I was a "slightly" built individual it would be fine. Well, after two weeks of struggling with it tangling up in everything and cutting off my circulation I decided I needed an adult, the youth was cutting it (hmmm, is that philosophical or what - but more on that in another post).

Now I tend to go through one of these bracelets every eight to twelve months due to the fact that I never take them off - I sweat in them, stretch them over my jerseys when I ride, When I first made my decision to wear one always I bought eight of them from a local bike shop - five adult and three youth. So naturally, when I realized I was completely out of adult Livestrong bracelets I went to the LBS (local bike shop) where I originally purchased them only to be told, "Sorry dude, we don't carry those anymore." Undeterred, I went to another bike shop and got the same response. So I went to a third, another negative response. It wasn't until I went to the fourth bike shop and was told not only did they plan on not stocking them but I was asked, "Why would you want to wear that piece of crap anyway? Armstrong's just a big cheater who got caught!"

Well, instead of getting into a big philosophical argument (because honestly, his mind was made up) I thanked him and left. What spurred me to lots of introspective brain meanderings was the fact that this counter jockey's point of view is not a solitary one. There are many editorials out there decrying Lance Armstrong's cheating ways and how it denigrates every cancer survivor by even coming near one, much less wearing one. There are thousands of blog entries out there that speak of the evil intent behind Nike's continuing to sell the bands and support the Livestrong Foundation, as if it is some corporate conspiracy to use the proceeds from the continued sale of these bracelets to somehow buy respectability. Indeed, an article on the Wristbands.com website gives a few ideas of how they can be altered to "more honestly" represent the idea behind the bands.

The problem is, because of the marketing when they first came out and the exposure, these bracelets are irrevocably linked with a company and a particular rider.  But I don't wear the wristband because I am a huge Nike supporter or because I am convinced of Lance Armstrong's innocence.  For anyone who managed to catch the now (in)famous interview with Oprah, it is beyond refute that he did use banned substance to win at cycling.

People are still arguing about whether or not this was a true confession. In my own faith confession (or reconciliation as it is more commonly known now) is one of the holy sacraments (baptism, communion, reconciliation, confirmation, marriage, holy orders, annointing of the sick). In an article on AmericanCatholic.org it makes very clear that three things are required of a penitent in order to receive the sacrament of reconciliation (or confession) worthily:

1. He must be contrite—or, in other words, sorry for his sins.
2. He must confess those sins fully, in kind and in number.
3. He must be willing to do penance and make amends for his sins.