Has Technology Killed Old-Fashioned Dating?

Modern technology has made us into a society fixated on immediate gratification? Can old fashioned wooing and courting survive in an age of "speed dating"?

As I have been learning about dating in today’s technology based culture I am finding that we have become a society fixated on immediate gratification.  Everything has to happen right now. 

We text and receive an immediate response and when we don’t it’s as if time has stopped and the world is ending. We e-mail instead of sending a letter because “snail mail,” as it is now referred to, is a dead art form.

We call people’s cell phones rather than their home lines because we can contact them where ever they are at that very moment.

There is the old adage “patience is a virtue” but it seems that we are no longer a virtuous society because we no longer have the patience to wait for a letter or call someone when they return home.

So now you may think, what does this have to do with dating? Well when I see what happens with online dating for example, I find that the days of courting and wooing are over because that just takes too long. 

Back before online dating was the norm, you would meet someone and the process of dating took time and patience. A number would be given, a phone call made, a conversation or more had and then a date scheduled. I can’t help but think of the Bugaloo song “Video Killed the Radio Star.”  I think the iphone killed old fashioned dating.

Today you poke, wink, e-mail and text a potential date. You may speak on the phone, you may not.  You meet for a drink or coffee, maybe a meal.  But instead of a call the day or two after the date, you receive a text or an e-mail.  It is a quick acknowledgment of your meeting. No one talks to each other anymore. That takes too long.

We need to know now if you enjoyed the date, not tomorrow but the moment you turned your back to say goodbye. When that text doesn’t come, well then the relationship must be over.   

Relationships are made in code. “How r u?”, “Kk”, “TTYL”. A full sentence takes too long to compose and to read. We need to know now, not five seconds later, what you are thinking.

Why is everyone in such a rush? I guess because when you online date the quantity of potential dates far exceeded what we knew in the past. You have hundreds - perhaps thousands - of men or women to choose from. You don’t have to take the time to make an investment in someone because you can have another date tomorrow or even right after the one you are on. So hurry up and decide if this is the love of your life, someone better may be waiting to be winked at.

If you have a dating experience you would like to share for a future blog topic, feel free to email me at friend2friendnetwork@gmail.com or post a comment I would love to hear from you right now. TTYL, LOL.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Derp September 05, 2012 at 06:13 PM
You have a massive chip on your shoulder, "honey." No reason to go after the author like you did. Here's how it feels: with this kind of attitude, your "loving" boyfriend won't be "loving" for long, and you will die lonely.
Dawn Andrew September 05, 2012 at 08:48 PM
I see the value in online dating sites as I know many people who have found successful relationships this way. Relationships in general seem not to have as much dialog as their used to be. There is a great deal of communication due to the digital world we live in, but I am not sure about the dialog. My friends and I email and text frequently, but when we are face to face engaging in conversation, I have a much better time and am more relaxed. If you don't have time to meet or chat on the phone a text message is quick way to catch up.
Meredith Radisch September 05, 2012 at 11:56 PM
Agreed, it is easier to text these days and if I have to admit I do it often as well. Unfortunately when getting to know someone new, texting prohibits people from truly getting to know each other. I know people who mostly text in new relationships which has led to rapid sexual advances and "sexting". Texting seems to lessen people's inhibitions while limiting them from actually knowing anything about them. It can be an asset in our busy lives but in relationships it can also have a dark side too. Thanks for the comment. :)
Meredith Radisch September 06, 2012 at 12:16 AM
I must also add a caveat to my blog. I am not bashing online dating. In fact I run an online dating site. My research on online dating has been to try to improve the experience for those who have not had positive online experiences. My dating site is a place where friends can set single friends up on dates. It is more a social dating network than traditional online dating site. Singles can join a network of friends and request to be set up or have a mutual friend make a match. I do not comment negatively about online dating sites to promote my own. I report what has been reported to me. I blog because the experience in researching online dating and dating in general today was so interesting to me that I hoped to share it with others. I hope readers have found it interesting or at least entertaining. I love to hear diffferent perspectives and I guess in a hypocritocal way I am using modern technology to create a dialogue. So here I present a topic and as the great Michael Myer's character, Linda Richman, would say, "I am a little verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves." :)
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