Stopping Cyber-bullying in Syosset: A Father's Story

John Halligan told an audience at that he wishes time machines were real, so he could go back to October 2003, and save his son. They don't exist, so John focuses his energy on preventing other tragedies like the one that hit his family. 

It was over seven years ago that Ryan Halligan took his own life, committing suicide at age 13. In the months that followed, John and his family began to piece together the events that led to Ryan's death, and they were strung together with a common thread: bullying.

Halligan is a former Syosset resident, and currently lives in Farmingdale. He travels frequently, telling students and parents around the country Ryan's story, one that made national headlines as details of the tragedy emerged.

Tuesday he came back to Syosset, and relayed to the audience what happened to his son while the family was living in Vermont. He said Ryan was one of the early victims of cyber-bullying, where teasing and taunting spreads like a virus in cyberspace.

"[The story] is still relevant today and still affects a lot of kids," Halligan said before taking the stage.  "My son was a victim of typical type bullying, it started at school and spilled into the online world."

Halligan told his emotional story while images of his son flashed behind him for all to see. Bullying at school became a major problem in the 7th grade for Ryan, and the following summer, he began spending a lot of time on the computer, where rumors one particular bully had started about Ryan continued to spread. It all came to a head on Oct. 7, 2003, when Ryan took his own life while his father was away on a business trip.

Ryan's parents didn't find out about the cyber-bullying until they began digging through computer files following his death. With teens using social networks and smart phones, bullying has reached a whole new level, and Halligan's message is more vital than ever: education is the key - for children, and their parents.

Halligan says the 'old school' way of bringing tormentor and the tormented together to talk things out and shake hands simply does not work. The dangers of bullying, how to prevent it, signs of depression, even the role of the innocent bystander; they are all elements that can prevent a similar tragedy to the one that befell the Halligan family. His program gets results.

"Kids apologized after I left that day," Halligan said about his early days of bringing Ryan's story to the schools. "That's been the consistent pattern ever since, the kids start to realize the pain they're causing other kids."

Syosset schools have programs in place to educate about the dangers of bullying, such as peer mediation and lectures as part of the health curriculum. Hearing Ryan's story truly brings the problem to light, however.

"It's something that can't be ignored any longer because it is a problem and it's not something you can just stand back and look at," Syosset PTA member Joanne Graham said. "We're hearing a lot of these stories on the news every day, people taking their own lives...education is really the key."

Syosset High students say cyber-bullying is an issue here, and that if you go down that path, stop. And if you see it, don't add to the problem.

"Don't bother with it, leave it alone, don't say anything, don't start any conversations on it," junior Malina Ross said.

Halligan and his family don't get a 'do-over' regarding Ryan, but Halligan is pushing forward, saying that anyone who is being bullied needs to speak up, and that there's always someplace to turn for help. His love for his son and the power of what he's saying shine through when he states to the crowd in Syosset:

"Don't ever believe for a second that you don't matter."

To learn about cyber-bullying and more about Ryan's story, go to www.RyanPatrickHalligan.org.